Whenever I start dreaming of cats and kittens, things go astray. Especially if I dream about unfamiliar cats and kittens. Or having a cellar full of cats that I can’t sort out from my own. The last time I had a rash of these dreams, my colon blew up and I wound up with a colostomy (concurrent with a hysterectomy) and all the joy that goes with that. The dreams have started up again, but aren’t quite as frantic as that spell back in 2007. Colon version 2.0 is cruising along fine, so I hope there isn’t another system ready to fail. I’m, quite frankly, running out of spare parts.
Filed under: Health
Bought this this morning. Free (via rebate). Great name. Even better graphic. How could we resist? Problem was, we couldn’t find it in the store, so Fred asked a cashier. She said, “Oh yeah, that’s in the men’s aisle.” Duh.
Young(ish) people we know keep keeling over and dying. Two in the past few days. Aneurysm. Bad ticker. Okay one minute. Gone the next. I’ve had a naggy headache off-and-on since Friday so naturally my overly-dramatic mind leaps to dark conclusions. More likely, though, it’s just pre-Christmas tension coupled with the dark, weird weather*. Right?
We’re sitting here poised for Christmas Eve and Christmas proper. Everything’s baked, bought, and wrapped. (Isn’t it?) Tomorrow afternoon we head to Fred’s parents for lunch and the gift-opening frenzy. Really, it’s nuts. Between the fireplace, the frenzied kids, and my requisite sweater, it’s like spending the afternoon in a sweat lodge. Ahhhh…cleanse those pores.
We’ll spend Christmas at my parents, and that’s a much quieter and cooler venue. At this point, my sister’s kids would probably rather send text messages than open presents. Or at least they’re pretty calm about the whole thing.
Well…my headache’s fading (phew), so I think we’ll head to the mall to watch the last-minute frenzy. You know…just for fun.
(*Note: Today did not look like this picture…except for the snow. Seeing sun would’ve been cool.)
The weather here is COOL. No reading on the patio until at least Thursday when temperatures are expected to spike again. Last night we were contemplating putting flannel sheets on the bed, but we’re not (quite) THAT stupid.
So I’ll be home for about three more weeks. I’m feeling good…just a little stiff and achy at night (for some reason). And though I feel pretty “normal,” after we grocery shopped last night, I was raggy tired. No Wii bowling last night.
I feel kind of guilty missing the start of classes and the first few weeks of school. Damn puritan work ethic. My surgeon won’t release me until after my next appointment (Sept. 12th), and he really does know best. I’ll be running around non-stop when I get back, so I’d best rest up. Still…it’s hard not to worry about the state of my office/records/stockroom while I’m out. But I got it back under control after the first surgery, so I’m sure I can do it again. (Can’t I?)
Thanks to the decent weather (up until now), I’ve been doing much more reading and much less TV watching than after my first surgery. I only watch BRAVO 10-11 pm, rather than getting drawn into the suckhole of their reality marathons. I will admit to watching a few episodes of “Bridezillas” when I was in the hospital, but that was purely boredom (or morphine?) induced. I’ve cruised through Animal, Vegetable, Miracle (Barbara Kingsolver), Blue Like Jazz (Donald Miller), and The Big House (George Howe Colt), and am almost finished with The Nasty Bits… (Anthony Bourdain).
I really want to get some letters written and I have some long languishing minutes to type up for church. Time to stop puttering.
The photo shows the damage caused by a brief but severe wind and rainstorm that swept through last week. We had the heavy rain, but no real damage. A few miles from here, though, WOW.
So I ordered a book on cheesemaking from Amazon last week, a purchase triggered by Barbara Kingsolver’s Animal, Vegetable, Miracle which I’m currently reading. I don’t have a garden (this year…maybe next), but the least I can do for the environment is make my own mozzarella. Barbara convinced me. I’m intrigued (and a little skeptical that it can be done in my kitchen), but curious enough to order the cheese book. Tonight I logged back onto Amazon and see that they’re now recommending that I purchase Raising Milk Goats Successfully. How things do snowball in the mind of Amazon.
Now for the random stuff…
I LOVE my new telescoping Zebra pens. One for work, one for home. The telescoping is surprisingly fun (for boring people like me) and shrinks the pen to pocket size. Writes great, too. The two-pack is cheapo. What’s not to love?
My colostomy reversal surgery is scheduled for next Friday at 7:45 am (hospital arrival is a bleary 5:45 am). I’m the first patient of the day for my surgeon, so there’ll be no backed-up patient delays, and as I’ll have been without food for two days by that point, I’m all about getting the show on the road. I’ll spend about five days in the hospital (already dreading the yellow jello and chicken broth), then six weeks out of work. The things I do for some time off.
Wednesday and Thursday are “cleanse the colon” prep days. I must drink assorted chemicals and take mega doses of antibiotics. I’m expecting some dramatic results and a certain level of crabbiness.
So this weekend, with it’s food and freedom, is particularly sweet. But I still don’t want a goat.
Despite having Tuesday off for the on-going medical hi jinx, the week seemed endless, so the weekend is quite welcome. But then, when isn’t it?
The colonoscopy unearthed a few, not unexpected, findings (hiatal hernia, mild esophagitis, diverticulosis) but all appears to be on track for the colostomy reversal. I’ll see the surgeon July 11th and hope that we can get the surgical show on the road. Is it bad to say that I’m looking forward to the four week post-surgical break from work? No? Good.
Last night we bit the bullet and grocery shopped. I prepped a crock-pot stew for my parents as mom is still laid low with on-going back issues. That cooked overnight and was ready for delivery to their house this morning. I also put together the “Banana Split Cake” from Cook’s Country. It’s really just an ice cream cake, so no talent is involved, but the effect (outer edge of springform pan lined with vertical pieces of ice cream sandwiches, then filled with strawberry ice cream) is sort of cool. Our neighbors may be over for dessert sometime this week, and I’ll finish it off then, with hot fudge and whipped cream…and MAYBE the banana slices. I’m not such a big fan of the banana.
Ohh…and our brand-new garage doors (well…not GARAGE doors, but doors into the garage…get the distinction?) are awesome. The panes and blinds are between the glass so cleaning is a breeze. Fred, the clean freak, is psyched about that. We left the old wooden doors out by the road and heard someone load them into their truck around 12:30 am last night. Good riddance.
Tomorrow we’ll hit the downtown museum’s annual arts festival and classic car show. Honestly, the cars start boring me after about 15 minutes. And the more the owners prohibit touching, the more I want to. I do better with the art…longer attention span, no urge to touch.
Now…bed.
Filed under: Health
I think I have an idea why guys are fascinated with their penises (penisii?). Because they’re always looking at them. Now that I’m forced to look at a small piece of my colon throughout the day, I’ve become a little bit obsessed with it as well. I gave it a good cleaning in the shower this morning. It’s all buffed and pink and shiny. For the time being. Tomorrow I begin prepping for Tuesday’s colonoscopy. Having a colostomy may make the prep easier (i.e., having a bag in place gives me a little bit of a time buffer) or harder (i.e., should said bag fill up TOO fast). Time will tell. One thing’s for sure, I doubt I’ll get out for our usual evening walk. And I have to temporarily swear off of the loads of strawberries that we picked over the weekend. Damn colon.
Colon fun fact: When you touch your colon, there is NO sensation whatsoever. So you have to be careful as the colon does not warn you when it’s being injured. Who knew?
Filed under: Health
Because getting used to a colostomy apparently wasn’t challenging enough, recently I’ve had to deal with incessant itching underneath the adhesive wafer (as they call it). Might be fungal. Might be an allergy. Might be a little bit of both. And you can’t use just any kind of treatment that might cause “adherence issues” so that narrows the field a bit. I needed a particular prescription spray that was, at most pharmacies, on “long-term backorder.” Not the words I wanted to hear. I started to think that I was going to have to head to Canada for some relief. But yesterday afternoon, a spray can was located…locally. Music to my ears.
My mother is suffering through some nasty side effects from her prednisone prescription, and now needs to have back surgery on Tuesday to repair a compression fracture.
And my father has a cyst on his pancreas. So far, nothing to worry about, though they are keeping an eye on it.
If I were my sister, I’d run for the hills.
I think we need a brand new year.
Filed under: Health
Last week I started having flashes in my right eye (like the flashes that I had in my left eye four years ago). I blew it off thinking that it was the same thing (floaters, etc.) but then googled “flashes and floaters” and found that the flashing COULD mean that your retina is tearing or detaching (which is just what I need right now…I’m dying to be a one-eyed colostomite). SOOoooo, I called the eye doctor, lied and said that it had just started, and they took me right away. Turns out that it IS the same thing as last time (“vitreous detachment”) and is just an age-related phenomenon. There is, happily, no tearage. But geez.
Filed under: Health
I’ve been out of work for seven weeks, and now that I’m starting to feel better, I feel like I’ve frittered the time away and that I should have accomplished something earth-shattering (or even something “mildly ambitious”). Instead, I was routinely sucked into Bravo TV’s marathon of episodes of “Work Out,” “Top Chef,” “Top Design,” “Miami Slice,” and “Blow Out.” Not much was accomplished, but the TV was so wonderfully soothing that I couldn’t pull myself out of my big comfy chair to reorganize the bedroom closet or write a novel or finally confront my (irrational?) fear of the pressure cooker.
But maybe I’m being too hard on myself. Here’s how the weeks broke down:
WEEK 1- Thought I had the flu, then had a stabbing pain, went to the ER (2X), and waited at home, in pain, for my surgeon to come home from god-knows-where.
WEEK 2- Surgery on Monday…Hysterectomy with a bonus colon-ectomy thrown in. (Who needed those two feet of colon anyway?) Enjoyed jello, broth, and eventually solid food for eight days. Did not enjoy NG tube or scooting to the bathroom with the IV pole. Began life-with-colostomy training.
WEEK 3- Didn’t sleep much in the hospital so I tried to catch up on this, but I was plagued with twitching legs and arms…leftover reaction to my meds, I think. This made sleeping tricky. My mom did a great job keeping me fed. (Mmmmm…donuts!) Continued life-with-colostomy training with a visiting nurse who is GREAT.
WEEK 4- Continued resting. Still sore. Still tired. Still weak(ish). Finally…the staples came out! (25 or so, but who’s counting?)
WEEK 5- Feeling a little better. Helps to have the staples removed…fewer weird stabby pains. Grocery shopped with Fred, but shuffled around and only managed the list. Didn’t dare lift anything.
WEEK 6- Feeling more normal, though the weather is so lousy that hunkering down with an afghan and the TV just seems natural.
WEEK 7- Running out of unseen epsiodes, so now I get to work cutting recipes out of a pile of magazines (MANY back issues of Cook’s Country and Everyday Food, etc.) and organize them in albums. I’ve wanted to do this for ages, but never had a good chunk of time…now I do.
Today was sunny and warm so I turned off the TV, sat in the driveway in a t-shirt, and read You Can’t Go Home Again. Bliss.
Apparently, there is life without Bravo. Who knew?
Living with intention...or not 